I have spent my whole life trying to be good and acceptable (or perfect) just to be able to mix with people. Am I letting everyone down? Everyone sees me as a failure. I know I can’t predict the future but some said I should have sensed it before it happened. Maybe I just need to shut myself from the world.
My thoughts have been black and white these few months. Am I losing the middle ground? Some said my worries are totally illogical. Why do I feel the things that once my goals are now find so suffocating? I was told that the world does not revolve around me. Maybe I am the only one with issues. Overreacting, perhaps? Attention-monger?
I tried to keep a positive mindset but why do I find myself crushed? Is it because of my dark thinking is only as I am going against values? Am I a bad person whenever I have this negative thoughts? Am I normal?
Am I the carpet where everyone can walk all over? Am I having high expectations? A daydreamer? I hate myself. I find it’s hard to love myself because I’m so upset with myself. I feel guilty as I am a terrible human being, the worst person in the world. Why do I find it is hard to bounce back from this feeling of failure? Am I losing my momentum or is this what they called as ‘Imposter Syndrome’?
I feel like I’m drowning… I just feel that it is hard to breathe.
time heals all wounds
is a fallacy,
is only something people say
when the cut